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Happy sex life comes with hard work

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Happy sex life comes with hard work

The secret to a happy sex life in a married life or long-term relationships is the belief that it takes hard work, not an expectation of sexual pleasure and satisfaction to simply happen, says a study led by a University of Toronto social psychology researcher.

Problems in the bedroom might or might not spell doom in a long-term relationship, as it entirely depends on what a couple believes, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

The researcher analysed sexual belief systems of 1,900 individuals and found that people fall into two sections when it comes to their sexual beliefs.

These ‘sexpectations’ — the need to work on sexual growth or rely on sexual destiny – are so powerful they can either sustain otherwise healthy relationships or undermine them, says researcher Jessica Maxwell, a PhD candidate in the department of psychology in the Faculty of Arts & Science from the University of Toronto.

“Whereas people who believe in sexual destiny are using their sex life as a barometer for how well their relationship is doing, and they believe problems in the bedroom equal problems in the relationship as a whole,” Maxwell says.

There is one group that believes strongly in ‘sexual destiny’ and feels that sex should be all about sparks and twisted bed sheets devoid of nurture.

“Your sex life is like a garden, and it needs to be watered and nurtured to maintain it.”

The study also found that if one partner is high on sex growth beliefs, both the partners benefit from this. Whether one can have a great relationship if things are falling apart in their bedroom, also vary from group to group.

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The study showed that, while sexual-growth beliefs can buffer the impact of problems in the bedroom, they don’t help as much if the problems become too substantial.

Maxwell concluded saying that there is a honeymoon phase lasting about two to three years where sexual satisfaction is high among both sexual growth and sexual destiny believers. The benefit of believing in sexual growth becomes clear after this initial phase.

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Couples with a good sex life are more likely to cheat, finds a study

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Couples with a good sex life are more likely to cheat. Imge for representation only

Having great sex life in a relationship has been considered one of the most important factors as that would stop either partner becoming unfaithful. But a new research has found that having a good sex life only is not enough for partners as it may make one’s partner more likely to stray.

Researchers at the University of Florida assessed how newly married couples reacted to other people and found those with active sex lives were more likely to want sex with others

The team documented their sex satisfaction then monitored their interactions with others.

The researchers also found men with a more-attractive wife were less likely to cheat than women with a more-attractive husband . The authors said this sex difference is “consistent with evidence that partner attractiveness to men than it is to women”.

“With the advent of social media, and thus the increased availability of and access to alternative partners, understanding how people avoid the temptation posed by alternative partners may be more relevant than ever to understanding relationships,” the authors said.

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They found that participants who quickly stopped looking at an attractive person were less likely to have affairs during the course of the study. The difference in the length of time of the gaze between ‘cheaters’ and ‘faithful’ people was just fractions of a second.

A person who looked at an attractive person for just a few hundred milliseconds longer was 50 per cent more likely to cheat than someone who stopped looking at the attractive picture.

As well as avoiding looking longingly at others, researchers found that faithful people also ‘downgraded’ how attractive they viewed others.

The authors say that faithful people — when asked to evaluate how good looking other people were — gave lower scores than people who went on to cheat.

At a time when potential romantic partners on social media that could tempt someone to stray is high, the authors say their research is more relevant than ever further suggesting that people who really enjoy good sex are more likely to be unfaithful because they seek out sex with more partners.

Younger people were also more likely to cheat. And men who had previously had lots of short-term sexual partners were also more likely to have an affair, although the opposite was true of women.

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