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Happy sex life comes with hard work

Gorkha Post

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Happy sex life comes with hard work

The secret to a happy sex life in a married life or long-term relationships is the belief that it takes hard work, not an expectation of sexual pleasure and satisfaction to simply happen, says a study led by a University of Toronto social psychology researcher.

Problems in the bedroom might or might not spell doom in a long-term relationship, as it entirely depends on what a couple believes, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

The researcher analysed sexual belief systems of 1,900 individuals and found that people fall into two sections when it comes to their sexual beliefs.

These ‘sexpectations’ — the need to work on sexual growth or rely on sexual destiny – are so powerful they can either sustain otherwise healthy relationships or undermine them, says researcher Jessica Maxwell, a PhD candidate in the department of psychology in the Faculty of Arts & Science from the University of Toronto.

“Whereas people who believe in sexual destiny are using their sex life as a barometer for how well their relationship is doing, and they believe problems in the bedroom equal problems in the relationship as a whole,” Maxwell says.

There is one group that believes strongly in ‘sexual destiny’ and feels that sex should be all about sparks and twisted bed sheets devoid of nurture.

“Your sex life is like a garden, and it needs to be watered and nurtured to maintain it.”

The study also found that if one partner is high on sex growth beliefs, both the partners benefit from this. Whether one can have a great relationship if things are falling apart in their bedroom, also vary from group to group.

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The study showed that, while sexual-growth beliefs can buffer the impact of problems in the bedroom, they don’t help as much if the problems become too substantial.

Maxwell concluded saying that there is a honeymoon phase lasting about two to three years where sexual satisfaction is high among both sexual growth and sexual destiny believers. The benefit of believing in sexual growth becomes clear after this initial phase.

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Relationship

Why men prefer curvy women, revealed

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NEW YORK —Why do most men prefer ladies with curvier bodies, especially sharp curvy hips? According to a study, modern man’s this preference has ancient evolutionary roots.

According to a research carried out by a team from the University of Texas (UT) at Austin and the UT – Arlington has found that for a mate, man preferred a woman with a “theoretically optimal angle of lumber curving,”  a 45.5-degree bend from back to buttocks allowing ancestral women to better support, provide for, and carry out multiple pregnancies.

“The findings enable us to conclusively show that men prefer women who exhibit specific angles of spinal bend over buttock mass,” said study’s co-author Eric Russell from the UT – Arlington in a paper published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior.

This investigation consisted of two studies. The first looked at vertebral wedging, an underlying spinal feature that can influence the actual curve in women’s lower backs.

Around 100 men rated the attractiveness of several manipulated images showing spinal curves ranging across the natural spectrum.

Men were most attracted to images of women displaying the hypothesized optimum of 45 degrees of lumbar curvature.

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This adds growing body of evidence that beauty is not entirely arbitrary or “according to the viewer” as many in mainstream social sciences believed, but instead has a coherent adaptive logic, added psychology professor David Buss from the UT Austin.

“This spinal structure would have enabled pregnant women to adjust their weight over the hips,” the authors noted.

These women would have been more effective at foraging during pregnancy and less likely to suffer spinal injuries.

Thus, men who preferred these women would have had mates who were better able to provide for foetus and offspring, and who would have been the able to carry out multiple pregnancies without injury.

The second study addressed the topic of whether men prefer this angle because it reflects bigger buttocks, or whether it truly can be attributed to the angle in the spine itself.

Around 200 men were presented with groups of images of women with differing buttock size and vertebral wedging, but maintaining a 45.5-degree curve.

Men consistently preferred women whose spinal curvature was closer to optimum regardless of buttock size.

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